Employee Emotional Overdraft Protection: the CARE Model /Part 2/

Ask and Act with Curiosity

I’ve spent the past 15 years building my career as an HR leader. I led teams, coached senior leaders, and implemented HR strategies impacting thousands. I constantly pushed myself, equating success with hard work, high output, and being needed. As a working mother of three, I found it harder and harder to be present, often stuck in my ruminating thoughts about what I could have done differently, or what I needed to do the next day.

In September 2023, my 9-year-old daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes — a chronic condition that requires constant blood sugar monitoring and insulin injections every time she eats, for the rest of her life. This diagnosis turned our world upside down. I struggled with guilt, feeling as though this burden had fallen on my daughter, and with the pressure to ensure she felt fully supported through this challenging transition.

I tried to push forward: caring for her, making sure my other children didn’t feel the impact, being present for my husband, self-care, taking care of the household, developing my growing team, supporting my partners, and maintaining day-to-day work responsibilities. But I couldn’t keep up. I hit a wall, and everything — my energy, my sense of self — fell apart. It was then that I realized I had never taken a moment to truly assess how effectively I was prioritizing. I had never asked myself if I was actually ... happy.

It’s hard to change, even when we know it’s necessary. Our brains are wired for survival, seeking familiar patterns and routines to keep us safe and minimize threats. Change disrupts these patterns, creating resistance and stress. Over the past few years, the pandemic amplified this pressure to change in the workplace, forcing leaders to adapt quickly to new challenges, like emotional well-being, inclusivity, and evolving conflicts. Admitting, “I need help,” or, “This no longer works, I need to do things differently,” can be hard for high-achievers who wanted to be relied on. They may fear appearing weak or diminishing the very thing by which we have defined our worth: the perception that we have our shit together.

But the truth was, I did need to change. I needed help, as do many of the people leading teams today. The baggage we all carry is real, and gone are the days of “checking the bag at the door.” With more focus on emotional well-being, and blurred lines with expanded WFH models, leaders need to do things differently for ourselves, and for our teams.

The World Economic Forum highlights that “leaders now need to display greater empathy, agility, and resilience, adapting to the emotional needs of employees facing burnout and new work-from-home dynamics. This shift has required leaders to build more flexible and inclusive work environments, which has tested and reshaped traditional leadership competencies.”

Forbes reports that in 2022, 43% of employees reported feeling burnout. And this “continued to rise in 2023 when a staggering 62% of employees said they hit the wall from the weight of burnout.” Burnout was officially classified as a medical diagnosis by the World Health Organization, Forbes reported, calling it, “A syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.”

Gallup’s 2024 “State of the Global Workplace” report revealed that leaders who experience burnout are 2.7 times more likely to leave their jobs than those whose stress levels are more manageable.

Remember the emotional bank account? Filling or repairing your team’s emotional account, before burnout happens, can be achieved through the CARE Model. Simple, proven methods can build stronger teams that deliver consistent results. Creating an empathetic environment starts with genuine curiosity — the 'A' in CARE: Ask and Act with Curiosity.

Understanding what matters to your team – including their motivators and fears – inside and outside of work is essential for building trust. Regularly ask what is working within the organization and on your team, and what isn’t. What would they change, do more of, or do less of? But don’t stop there — taking action is just as important as asking questions. If you uncover areas for improvement, consider what changes you can make to show you’re listening. This could mean encouraging time off, scheduling extra check-ins, or exploring company resources for mental health support.

Demonstrate to your team that you back up your words with action. Show them that you’re committed to supporting them and fostering an environment where they can thrive both personally and professionally.

How to Ask and Act with Curiosity:

• Engage regularly with your team to learn about their interests, aspirations, challenges, and areas of concern. Seek to understand them as whole people, not just employees. Ask yourself:
• "How am I actively listening to my team's concerns and acknowledging their challenges?"
• "Am I demonstrating empathy through my actions, not just my words?"
• "What steps am I taking to support my team's work-life balance?"
• "Is my team taking the time to use their PTO?"
• "Am I normalizing conversations around mental health, and am I aware of the resources my team may need?"

• Take actionable steps based on the feedback you receive, and follow through on your commitments. If change isn’t immediate or as extensive as you hoped, be transparent about why and what you can realistically accomplish. Ask yourself:
• "Am I willing to adjust plans and strategies based on new insights?"
• "Am I encouraging open dialogue and creating space for diverse perspectives?"
• "Am I open to feedback and adapting my approach accordingly?"

• Pay attention to burnout-inducing behaviors, both in yourself and your team. Do you unintentionally promote excessive work hours, working during personal time, or prioritizing work over family life? Recognize when these patterns emerge and make adjustments.

• Finally, consistently communicate the emotional well-being resources available to your team. These aren’t just HR initiatives—they need to be deeply embedded into your company culture.

It's crucial to remember that you are not responsible for other people's emotions or their reactions to situations. What you are responsible for is creating the space to ask the right questions. The most effective managers show they care by investing in their employees through awareness, time, and genuine attention. Demonstrating curiosity and taking intentional action foster a culture of empathy and compassion. These actions reinforce trust and commitment within your team while helping to prevent burnout.

Stay tuned for the next steps in the CARE framework, where we'll cover R: Review and Provide Feedback.

Until later, MM

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